Wednesday, June 30, 2004

Via Gina a Genius

Another story of the day relates to my new employ and how Drone has become the new office 'bitch.' I happily get dry cleaning for people, purchase Balance bars for them, and clean up their mealtime refuse. Hurray for maximizing my college education! Anyway, so I'm finding that wild goose chases and blind shots in the dark are S.O.P. (Standard Operating Procedure) at my new employ. For instance, head boss asked if I could find Item A. I politely informed him that I had never seen it. He simply responded, 'I don't want to know if you've seen it. Just find it.' M Kay. Where shall my blind search commence? I believe I will start looking in Iceland, as I've heard it's beautiful there.

Anyway, so someone in the office needed an XYZ. Noone made eye contact with the requestor, therefore I became the privileged elect to chase the proverbial goose. I searched high and low on many floors of this ivory tower and... ta da! I actually found an XYZ, which I stole from another department discreetly and brought to the original requestor. Upon my return there was absolutely no fanfare. Via put it best when I relayed the story to her via E-mail:

hehehe. sorry but i find that kind of amusing. i just picture you coming back to the office with your [XYZ] all proud and waiting for adulation and they're just like "thanks, put it in the corner" or something...

As the title informs, Via is a genius. She hit that nail directly on the head. Speaking of which, I have a headache. Wonder if it's time to go home soon? Nope. It's not even close to midnight. Grrr.

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Adventures in Buying Hardware

So I'm not sure if I mentioned, but I worked until 11:30 last night. Yeah, that's PM. A first for me. So I've now worked a Sunday and until 11:30PM. Did I also mention that this is my first week of work? Oh yeah. So anyway. Upon my departure last night from work (at the time when I should have been rolling around in bed, scratching myself to Late Nite with David Letterman), I was infomred that I should pick up three pairs of pliers. OK. No problem. So this morning, bright and early, I trodded on down to the local hardware store to purchase three sets of pliers.

Hm, choices choices. Big or small? 6" or 8"? Regular or vice grip. Vice grip sounds good--less effort to be exerted (I figured that the people with whom I work would like that option). So I bought vice grip pliers. Arguably the easiest pliers to manipulate. I walked back to the office, feeling good about my purchase. Nope. Too sophisticated. OK. Back to the hardware store I went. Got the regulars of the same size. Now I've got it... "Do they have a larger size??" I responded that yes, indeed they do. "OK, I want those. And get a broom." So this time I made sure to get the spec's: standing broom, push broom, small sweep, hm??? After returning from my third trip, I had it right. The large, normal pliers and three brooms (I got a push, standing, AND small sweep... just in case). Ah, I love my creative industry job.

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Tuesday, June 29, 2004

Well, here I am. I finally have a free moment to blog.

Major topic to relate: Drone's new 'creative industry' job. I am now firmly implanted in the world of my new employ. A complete 180 from my last place. Love what I'm doing, so I'll start off with that. Major detractor as of yet: I worked this Sunday, and I'll be working tonight until (it is estimated) 11PM. Grrreat! (Please note the saracsm.) There is much work to be done at current employ; however, there is a very large 'Drone is a bitch' factor going on. I am that person who gets everyone coffee, lunch, yogurt, etc., etc., etc. Don't really mind in the long run, but it is definitely a test of will. I.e., How long can Drone bend over and take it up the a-hole? Have done pretty well so far. I am hoping this is a busy time and that it will slow down soon. I have a 3 1/2 day weekend coming up (half of Friday until Tuesday), so that should provide me the much-needed respite I seek. I am going out of town (with significant other, heretofore unmentioned, C.) to escape the City. We're going upstate for fresh air and quiet. Should be nice. Until then, anyone need some yogurt?

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Saturday, June 19, 2004

Sorry x A Budgillion = How Sorry I Am for Being a Lame Ass who hasn't posted

So yeah. I've been on vacation for a while and have not been the most responsible Drone when it comes to posting. I have only a few more days until my phat new job begins. I seriously cannot wait, but unfortunately this means that I have been away from free, regular Internet access. I must be one of the few losers in the world who does not have Internet at my domicile. Guess I fear that I would use it too much. I mean, wasting time at work (especially at a workplace that blows) is justifiable and all, but wasting Drone out-of-work playtime is a whole 'nother ball o' wax. Anyway, I want you all (all loyal 5 of you who lovingly visit my page o' thoughts) to know that Drone thinks of you and wants you to be informed. So I've basically been enjoying the City and hanging out wih my peeps before I start the new job. Can't wait, can't wait, can't wait. And have not for one second regretted quitting Roboville.

Speaking of which, funny (related) moment #1: Drone's dad called ex-workplace and asked for Drone. New temporary Drone wannabe girl informed my father that I had moved on to further ventures. Whoops. Guess I should have let old pops know about that. Hah. So needless to say, now my dad knows that I have a new job. I KNEW that my shitty old job would serve a purpose!! My own personal life updater. Yeah. More to follow, all you loveable blog-goers.

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Friday, June 11, 2004

That's it. I'm out. Done. NO. MORE. ROBO. I can hardly believe it as the truth. But alas, it is for real. I am leaving this office and will soon be starting a new post: a job that I am very much looking forward to. My hours will undoubtedly be longer, but the work has the potential to actually be rewarding and fulfilling. We shall see. Happy weekend, All. The only plans Drone has for this weekend is to: 1) get a long overdue haircut, and; 2) go to a dog show with Gina. This is awesome.

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Coming to New York?

Awesome virtual walking maps of parts of New York. And I can confirm that they're damn accurate. Phat.

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Weird?

Hm. So this morning I did what I do a lot of mornings. I woke up at about 6:16AM, very groggy and half blind (sans contact lenses, of course), put on my walking-around-the-apartment-ONLY-so-I-don't-trip prescription glasses, and fixed myself a small breakfast. I had half a tub of yogurt and granola. Then I went back to bed and woke up at 8 to go to work. I'm wondering if this routine is weird. Hm.

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Last day hoo-ray

It's true. Never thought I'd actually be able to say that I have finally quit and that today begins my final hours as Robo's 'inferior.' I am so elated that a description on the ol' blog probably cannot suffice, so we'll just leave it at that.

Today, I am going to lunch with Robo and the new hire (who basically told me yesterday during our coffee break that she only has the intention of staying until late July, at which point she will be attending grad school). Robo knew that there was a possibility that new Drone wannabe would be temporary, but I'm not too sure he's thinking it's a sure thing.

Poor sap. He offered the job to four people. No dice. Could only get a girl to come in for about a month. Can't wait to see what happens in terms of hiring someone else after that. Ah. Good times. Also. I hear that today is some national day of mourning for Ronald Reagan's passing and that the financial markets are closed.

If you don't recall, Robo made a clear proclamation in recent times that 'we follow the markets.' When he said this, Robo was responding to Drone's question about public holidays. Basically, if the markets are open, so are we. If they're closed, you get it. This became an issue (Drone getting off on holidays) because little Drone noticed how everyone in the world was getting off on days like, oh, I don't know, Memorial Day! And Robo had no clue they existed. So I'd be confronted with the awkward mission of asking Robo the day before to make sure. Almost always he said, 'No.' And then there was his ridiculous proclamation.

Well, folks. The markets are closed today (thanks, Ronald). And where is Drone? You guessed it. Robo's domain. Hurray! Well, it's my final day. And as Gina so politely pointed out to Drone, 'It's your last day. I think you'll survive.' Right she is. I will survive. Also kind of poetic in a way. My last day is one that, even according to Robo, I should rightly have off. Hah. Hooray for gettin' outta this shizat.

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Thursday, June 10, 2004

Good lucky to you

As these are my final days in Robo hell, I have the extreme pleasure of responding to client requests as such: Sorry. Not gunna be here no more, sucka. Take it to the wannabe. Ya heard? Ok, so it doesn't go ex-ACT-ly like that, but you get the idea. Anyway, it feels awesome to say that tomorrow... I'm out. Not only do I get to say that I'm leaving, but I also get to tell them to take their request elsewhere--legitimately, in an I-have-to-do-this-for-the-new-hire's-own-good sorta way. Feels awesome. And then there's the requisite return E-mail from said clients who then wish me well. Sadly, most of the clients are incapable of capturing the English language with much brilliance, either the spoken or the written variety. Therefore, my so sad to see you go E-mails are quite hilariamous and awkward (albethem generous and thoughtful):

Dear [Drone]

I want to thank you for the entire assistant that you gave us during all this period that you work with us…

Good lucky with your future!!!

Thanks for all,

[Client #1]
__________________

Dear [Drone],

I am really too sorry to hear that you are leaving [hell]!

Thank you very much for your good neat cooperation during your stay at [hell].

Wishing you a very sucessful future and remain with my best wishes

[Client #2]
____________________

And so on and so forth. So yes, good lucky to you and yours, my dear cooperative, neat clients.

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Wednesday, June 09, 2004

Like, Oh ma gosh, y'all... Like. Drone's totally back. Far out.

Long time, no... yadda yadda yadda. For real, though. Sup?! Well, Drone has returned from San Diego. I ran a pretty kisckass Marathon. I mean, the Marathon was kickass. The weather was amazing, and the course was a full-on tour of San Diego. It's also pretty awe inspiring to run with over 20,000 people.

My actual running of the Marathon was just pretty good. Ran it in about 4.5 hours. Could have done so much better. I pretty much hauled it all the way to mile 20, at which point my left knee said, 'No, thanks.' Really starting hurting at about mile 22 (I'm talking like Drone was chomping at the bit hurting), so I jogged by one of the myriad Tylenol Medical Aid tents that spotted the course, threw two red pills in my mouth, chugged some Gatorade, and continued on my merry way. Basically replied to left knee, 'Sorry you hurt, but I don't hear you, la la la la.' So the last 6 miles were a litte excrutiating, but I pulled it out. Spent some quality time with my awesome mom (who also finished the Marathon, I'll have you know) and consumed a lot of Ibuprofen.

Took a sick day yesterday because I was unable to walk down the street without hobbling and couldn't even contemplate going up and down stairs. Thought this reality combined with the New York City morning underground commute would equate to Drone's certain death. Therefore, I have returned to work today. Ahem. And speaking of work. Get a load of this. Friday is Drone's last day at current poo-pie hole of hell job. I'm done. Out. Finito. Over. No mas. Woo hoo! All I have to do is finish training the current whipping girl, I mean Drone wannabe trainee. I am taking a week and a half off for vacation (Bahamas, anyone... I hope, anyway) before I start my new job. You know, the one for which I had about ten budgillion interviews. I got it. In the bag. Sealed deal. Ah.

Oh whipping girl, where's Drone's coffee?!

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Thursday, June 03, 2004

No bonking

Alright. This is the last time I'll blog before I head to San Diego to run 26.2 effin' miles. I pray that I don't bonk. Peace.

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Hip, Hip. Hurray!

I really have to thank this cool girl for her post on jobs post-graduation. I find this extremely comforting now that I find myself in the midst of a job search to get OUT of a position that places me knee deep in idiots and (uncute) idiosyncratic behavior. Thanks. Fight the (idiot) power! Word.

PS: Final interview was a 100% home run. Hoo-ha head honcho proclaimed that Drone will be (are you sitting down?) getting an official offer of employ shortly. I am. no. longer. under. Robo's. spell. Woo. FRIGGIN'. Hoo!!! Prasie the Holy Shiba Inu. I said praise! More to follow.

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Today's the (Relatively) Big Day (In Drone's Little World)!

Yup, in about thirty minutes I will be meeting super head honcho of major hoo-ha company for which I am dying to work. This will be the fourth interview I've had at said hoo-ha company. Slowly ascending the ladder with each interview. This is the summit of sorts. If honcho says 'Yes,' then Drone's a new employ. Fingers firmly crossed.

Lately, I have been unusually busy training temporary Drone wannabe girl (who's pretty nice, by the by--too bad [for her] that she's accepted this position, albeit on a temporary basis). Hence the no post yesterday. She and I got a lot done becuase I had to be absolutely meticulous with every project and had to leave no detail unexamined, all at a very purposive (read: ass slow, yet consistently moving) pace. But I'm always like that. Ahem. Anyway, wish me luck.

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Tuesday, June 01, 2004

Made Me Wanna Barf

The other day, while posting about the Segway, I referenced that Americans seem to be heading the way of the fatso. It's true. Obesity is at an all-time high; and America is leading this global trend. This was made all the more clear to me this weekend whilst viewing Supersize Me, a documentary on the health hazards of consuming McDonald's brand crap and (more generally) the overall dearth of healthy living and eating in America. Check it out. Odds are you'll head straight to the gym after this one. I did.

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Back from Memorial Day goodness, and have returned to the Drone palace: Roboville. Alas, the namesake (Robo) is not here, and will not be here all week. He is traveling on business. I only hope that he doesn't accidentally get on the wrong flight to like Afghanistan or some shit. Anyway, so I'm 'training' the temp girl today. For the next two weeks I'll be training her half days (latter half), while I furiously peruse the Internet for jobs. So that's a big fat NO. I do not have a secured job yet. How fun for me! This Thursday is my final interview at big hoo-ha company with head honcho to see if maybe I'll get the job. At said interview I will not fail in asking when they look to hire for the position (as I will friggin' be out. of. work. in less than 10 business days. Gooh). I kind of wish I hadn't cut it this close to the wire (in terms of my end date here and my potential start date elsewhere). But you know what, I need a break anyway. Hopefully I'll quit this craphole, take a 2-week vacation (on my dime of course, whatever), then start a new job. You'll get all the glorious details, no fear. All I can ask is that you wish me luck this Thursday. Here's hoping. Now where's my whipping girl?

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