Thursday, December 23, 2004

Yes Yes YES

As I write this I am awaiting a car to pick me up and steal me away to the airport for 10 days of vacation. Seven in Miami. Three in NYC. I don't think words can adequately capture my glee. WEEEE! (?) PHAT! (?) Aaaah FREAK OUT! (?) Nah. I'll just say that I am ridiculousy excited. I will be able to go to the gym every day. I will be able to read an actual book. You know. One of those bound paper thingies with a discernible beginning, middle, and denoument. NOT an expense report. NOT a note thrown on my computer keyboard that reads: "DRONE: FIND MY SHOE! NOW!!" No. Actual reading for actual pleasure. I will be able to SLEEP. For ten whole days, my voicemail and email accounts will answer (ostensibly): 'Go to hell. And Merry--er--Happy Holidays.' Maybe the weather will be nice enough to lay outside and jump in the ocean, but I don't really care. I will be relaxing and lounging and drinking alcoholic beverages. Do not you worry your pretty little blog-reading heads. I only hope that the loyal eight or so of you who peruse my blog have a great respite from whatever job, school, or work you toil away at. Merry Christmas. Happy Channukah. Happy Holidays! Now go to hell. (Just kidding.)


Tuesday, December 21, 2004

Them's is drastic times

So them's is calling for drastic measures. First of all, I'm sure by now you know that my bestest girl bud in all the lands has abandoned the City that never sleeps for Wisconsin: the State that... always sleeps? Anyway, she's fled persecution for warmer and quieter terrain. I am having serious Gina withdrawal. But crazy work and anticipation of Holiday break are keeping me adequately distracted. As you may or may not also know, I am going to be a poor part-time student again in January, all while maintaining my full-time job. Hurray! Three cheers for pverty and mental anguish. Only being half facetious. So, I've been staying with significant other C. for a long time. This leaves my cool apartment pretty much vacant. I pay the rent pretty much as a fun exercise in writing checks. And oh how fun it is. Sooo. I had a thought. With Gina subletting her apartment whilst she decoils, I thought, 'Why can't I do that?' So I'm trying to rent out my apartment (against the terms of my lease) in order to re-coup money that I'm basically flushing down the toilet. This would help with the tuition costs. But how the hell do you pick?? It's a totally furnished place, and I don't want to move any crap out. So the person probably shouldn't be prone to stealing things. Then there's the ethical dilemma of going against my lease. What to do. What to do.


Friday, December 17, 2004

Shizzle McNizzle

ANTM: Cycle 1 aspiring model Elyse Sewell actually has a blog. Sweet. I am so there.


Thursday, December 16, 2004

ANTM: The Highway Roberry Continues

Well, there you have it folks. Eva won. Though Yaya can be quite pompous and arrogant, she should have won. I continue to argue: A model makes his or her money from PHOTOS that sell a PRODUCT. How cool, 'approachable', or 'striking' she may be in PERSON means nothing. Ergo, Amanda's elimination on that basis was 100% ludicrous. I've seen models on the street and they ALL seem to have bad posture and appear as is they've had one too many a hit of fine imported blow. Tyra and her fellow-freak judges seem to disagree. A model must not only be thin and beautiful and photograph well. BUT, she must also be some sort of ambassador to the world and seem striking at any given moment of her life. Gooh.

I mean, how approachable are our modern day celebrities and models, anyway. VIP sections quarantined by red velvet and guarded by humongous bodyguards. Yeah, real approachable. Anyway, Yaya was indeed robbed. Just as Shandi of Season... oh, please forgive me... CYCLE 2 was robbed when Yoanna won. But you know what, who the hell cares? It doesn't really mean anything in the end. Let us review.

CYCLE 1 winner's current lot in the life of a celebrity. [via Lowculture via A Socialite's Life]

CYCLE 2 winner's moment in the sun.

Best of luck, Eva.

Sorry, Yaya. Guess you can always fall back on your highly touted Ivy-League education and your self-proclaimed ability to be exceedingly humble.


Wednesday, December 15, 2004

Bah Humbug... No. Seriously.

This is the funniest thing I have read in weeks. And I read some awesome blogs and magazines. For serious. Just got the following E-mail at work from some soul much kinder than myself:

It’s that time of year when we want to show our appreciation to the
mailroom [for] helping us all year long with our mail and packages. We are
looking for a $2 contribution from everyone in your group to the Holiday
pot. The $2 is entirely voluntarily, not tax deductible but covers your
appreciation for the FULL year.

I would like to give this to
the mailroom supervisors next Tuesday so they can distribute to their staff
before Christmas. I know the mailroom very much appreciated it last year,
so please let me know if you can help, I would be grateful. Thank

Now, I don't know about you. But paying off a team that continually loses your incoming and outgoing mail is not my idea of a fair deal. No joke. I just complained a week ago about the poor service we get. And I must say that I'm not one of those people who complain. It was mounting and mounting until I couldn't take it anymore. The floor-wide outbox (which is supposed to be picked up by the 'appreicative' mailroom staff no less than three times a day), which just so happens to be on my desk, frequently TOPPLES OVER due to the mounting FedEx's and interoffice envelopes reading URGENT that were not picked up from two days ago and it's now 3PM in the afternoon. Guess who has to pick up the fallen mail? Guess who gets the brunt of people's anger when the mail hasn't gone out the way it should? Ahem.

Hello? Mail guy? Are you there? When he finally showed up (during the day in question when I HAD to complain because it was totally getting out of control), I asked where he'd been. Busy. That was the response. Busy? Yeah. There are like... a lot of boxes downstairs. Oooo Kaaay.

When I called the asst. manager of the mailroom to see what the deal was--please note again that I almost NEVER complain... EVER--(this is rather classic), the time was about 1PM on a Thursday. May I speak to the assistant manager? Out to lunch. M Kay. How 'bout the general manager? Left for the day? Okee dokee. Anyone? There's only you?! For real? Only the message taker. Hm, that might explain some things. I literally said that last sentence to the self-described 'message taker' out of frustration. Thanks anyway. My 2 bucks? My front jean pocket will be keeping both George's all nice and cozy. Maybe I'll buy some overpriced gum with it. Merry Christmas!


Tuesday, December 14, 2004

Just another day of you and me in paradise...

Soooo cannot wait for my TEN. DAY. VACATION. in Miami. I've quite literally been on the South Beach Diet for the past two weeks getting ready for beach time. Call me narcissistic, but I really don't want to be that guy that is both pale AND not svelt. Just kidding. But I have been watching the caloric intake and have been upping the stakes on my daily workouts. One friend and one co-worker (both independent of each other) have commented that I'm looking different in a good way. So that rules. Now all I have to do is figure out how to cover up the fact that I'm Casper's cousin incarnate. And no. I'm not going to a tanning bed or getting a spray tan. Guess I'll have to settle for 1 out of 2 goals. SWEET LORD, I can't wait.


Illogical[?] fears

Reading Midwestgrrl's latest post makes Drone think of the fears we all... well, maybe with the exception of Paris Hilton... the fears we all seem to share. Why do hardworking, decent folk have to fear being laid off? I'm willing to bet my teeny tiny miniscule annual salary that Midwestgrrl and similarly minded folk work their little tales off and do not in any way warrant being fired. I often find myself working night and weekends for no compensation (overtime, what?). When asked to do anything at all, my knee jerk response is, 'Absolutely.' So why do I also fear sucking at my job and fear being laid off. Why? I'm pretty sure it has a ton to do with the economy that Mr. Bush has fostered. Mr. Bush argues that we should all get edu-mi-cated to fill all those great jobs that the 21st Century has to offer. Right. Let us refer to an article that Gina cited the other day, shall we?

The reader of an advice column wrote in:

--I graduated college two years ago and landed in a less-than-stellar economic climate to find a job. [Wow. Sounds kind of familiar. Remember why I started this blog??]

--I went to a good school [Drone did everything he could to climb the Ivy walls and was lucky enough to get in], got excellent grades (I graduated with honors) [Check.], and have a considerable amount of work experience for someone my age [Ditto.].

--Still, I've had a ridiculous amount of difficulty finding work -- mostly there's too much competition, and someone out there is perfectly suited for the position I'm vying for, as opposed to being "well-suited" like I am.

After MY "less than stellar" first job, I interviewed on the down low like THAT was my full time job. Anyone who knows me will tell you that I'm an excellent interview. If I can get face time, the result is usually good. However, you will often (read: inevitabley) run into power-tripping human resources idiots that believe they can afford to hold out for the PERFECTLY SUITED candidate (whatever that means). By the way, these perfectly suited candidates are probably the ones that will outlast the HR representative that interviewed said candidate for the position in question.

So, the belabored point is that an Ivy-clad background does not guarantee ANY-thing. Sorry (once again), Mr. Bush. The fact is, I had to interview at a TON of places before I found a forward-thinking company. I had to convince the powers that be that they should make an investment of sorts in me. They should hire me because I will somehow contribute to the future success of the company. Not becuase I'm the perfect candidate. But because I'm willing to work towards that end all while working my ass off doing whatever is needed. While that promise may or may not come to fruition, it's the intent at the onset. Running into a hiring HR rep./VP that judges you for wearing jeans or for being the age of their daughter is NOT one that you'd wanna work for anyway. Not one I'd wanna for at the very least.

So, now I have a cool job but I definitely need to acquire a skill. Education and intellectualism is all well and good, but I feel like I need to function more than that person who people like and who can proofread a memo like a real wiz. All that leads me to my possibly illogical fear of being laid off. Being nice + performing mindless support or robotlike duties (often) = expendability which can potentially result in one's walking papers. That why I'm thinking an indispensable function can actually be quite useful. It is ass hard to break into a good job (whatever that means for you). I fear that's unavoidable. Proving that you want to stay there is the next thing to keep us all on edge. Guess it goes to support the old adage that 'it's always something.' Great.

So, to re-cap. Thanks, Mr. Bush for producing an environment that empowers bitchy Veeps and HR folk to tear hardworking graduates and the like a new a-hole.


Monday, December 13, 2004

Delightfully Surprised?

This is a rare ocurrence, but I'm actually able to post! Delightful surprise #1.

This weekend was so great. Friday night consisted of watching hideously horrific yet mind-numbingly wonderful reality-based programming with best girl bud, Gina. Drinking Fresca and smoking cig's on a Friday night with her in the Big Apple: not much else beats it, really. Spent some time contemplating her ever-quickening departure to the Cheeseland. Was sitting next to her as she bickered with her mom to make flight arrangements. Made me so nostalgic: times when I would discuss things with my own mother that would be made so unecessarily complicated that I would become frustrated and usually call her an idiot. [Note: My mother and I have an amazing relationship, but sometimes she, as all parents seem to be at times, can think remarkably illogically.] Best part of Gina's talk with her mom was when Gina's mom did not wish to communicate a credit card number over the phone because sereptitious cell phone ban surfing thieves might listen in to get and use the number. Therefore, mom's solution was to communicate half of the number via phone conversation and the remaining numbers via E-mail. This led to a serious case of the church giggles on Drone's part. Delightful surprise #2. Made me wonder, as my own mom also often suggests bat-loopy illigocial things like this: do you lose a part of your cerebullum when you procreate? Hm. Anyway, Friday night was great.

Saturday morning, I actually had an awesome run and workout. As my current job can be all consuming, it was very refreshing to make it to the gym and not feel rushed. After that, I visited the Registration Office of the school that I will be attending in January. Got that nervous feeling in my stomach from being on a campus again. I was anticipating an annoying beaurocratic experience that would warrant a full blog post, but it was actually very easy and routine. Delightful surprise #3. Charged the class to my trusty Mastercard... you know, as I am considered a 'no need' student. Alright, whatever you say all mighty Finanacial Aid office. Just don't get mad at me, when I'm tossing stones at your window late at night, whispering for help in paying my overextended Mastercard bills. Mastercard: sorry if this is gunna hurt. But it's for the best. So, yeah. Drone goes back to school (part-time, of course) on January 3rd. Word. Then, I spent the rest of the day Christmas/Chanukah shopping with C.

Saturday night ruled. Saw a great friend that I haven't seen in a while. Got drunk on too many tequila shots and ended the night with excessive quantities of diner food. Classic.

Sunday was a fun day that ended with a great dinner with Gina. Great weekend. Now, work is a little slow and, frankly, I'm freaking out. My bosses are away on business, and I seriously don't know what to do with downtime. I'm working ahead and preparing for their return, but it's kind of driving me a little insane. The longer they're gone, the more I fear their return. Like there will be a ton of crap to do when they come back. So, downtime at work is not really a delighful surprise. Regardless, my holiday break starts at the end of next week. Ten. whole. days. In Miami. Sweet. I seriously cannot wait. This post better not get eaten by Blogger...


Thursday, December 09, 2004

Is he...

dead? [No.]
dying? [No.]
on a remote island where access to a computer is impossible? [No.]
extremely overworked and never able to post to Blogger because Blogger stubbornly chooses to gobble up all of his half-baked attempts at postings and then gets discouraged and doesn't try again? [Getting warmer.]

It's been way too long since my last post, but not for lack of trying. Anywho, I am valiantly once again attempting to post, as M-Ann on America's Next Top Model has finally been eliminated. I truly hated her at one point, thanks in part to the midwestgrrl informed opinion. I also began to hate Yaya recently, thanks in total to my best friend's informed opinion. Yaya really can be friggin' mightier than thou and over-the-top arrogant: 'My not winning [a challenge]... gives... another lucky individual the fortune of winning.' Whatever.

Speaking of my best friend, she's leaving me. Leaving the Big Apple. She was admirably fired from her job via voicemail. How low can they get, I ask you? Just wrong. Oh well. Gina will do just fine in the midwest. Although, I fear for her little habit of smoking. How will she maintin the need for nicotine when the 'rents don't approve? Gooh. Life decisions and struggles. Not quite the OC drama-filled lives we lead, but they're stressful all the same. I must say that I will miss my Gina terribly but have the promise of her return in about 6 months.

As for me, life has been insane. Work is crazy. Since we last 'spoke' I've applied to go back to school part time while I work my crazy, stress-inducing job (that I incidentally love for better and for worse). I've been accepted and will start classes as soon as I can figure out how to afford it. I went through the mind-numbing process of applying for federally-subsidized support only to be told that since I've earned a B.A. already, I am in no way eligible for any grants (i.e., free money). I have been designated a 'no need' student. No need this [pointing to groin/testicular area]. PS: Thanks for telling me that BEFORE I begged my parents to weed out their backdated W-2's and adjusted gross incomes, et al. Bastards. So yes. Now, not only am I working full time, but I'm choosing to dive headlong into the pool of higher education red tape-itude. Mm, red tape.

So that's me in a nutshell. Life is good. No major complaints. Still watching ANTM with baited breath. Can't wait to start school (and be poor). I'm sure that venture will provide much to blog about.

In the event that this post gets gobbled up, I'm not re-typing it. Gooh.